In honor of Dr. Seuss birthday and the fact that all the kids going into school this morning were in ‘The Cat in the hat’ hats, I thought I should pay homage to the lord and master of children’s stories, so I’m going to attempt to whinge in rhyme today. Dr. Seuss will be turning in his grave seeing his name and my attempt at rhyming on the one page, but here we go…
Wednesday’s for whinging, and that I can do,
For my head is pounding and my throats full of goo.
My stomachs in heap, I haven’t eaten for days,
Everything hurts and my brains in a haze.
What is it with these US bugs,
These dirty, nasty, damn thugs?
How can they even still be in existence?
They’ve only gone and got antibiotic resistant!
This winter is sucking in terms of infection,
I’ve never seen so many germs avoid detection.
The kids are puking, and have a dose of the trots,
Even though they’ve all had their flu shots.
Be gone with you winter, and spring time come hither.
I’m sick of the snow, the ice, and the shiver.
Things are on the up though, I’m sure you should know,
The Ice is melting a bit, and there’s much less of the snow.
The girl scouts are out, flogging cookies, what fun,
A sure sign that spring is upon us, bringing the sun.
Oh and while I’m donning my big red stripy hat,
This evening on inkpop I’m doing a live chat.
I’ll be there with my agent, Tina Wexler,
Pop on over and throw some questions at her.
I’m posting a video of me in New York,
Go on and look at it, I’m such a big dork.
If getting published is your life’s dream,
Well then have a gander and meet my team.
And so this brings me to the end of this whinge
Where are those girl scout cookies? I’m in the mood for a binge.
